the affirmation series// how is it all possible?

catch up on this series

// who is Jesus?

// why do i need a Savior?

part three of this series of questions is where i usually hit the wall, and this week happened to fall in line with one of the greatest spiritual battles i've had since i claimed faith.

as you can see, this should have been up on Monday.  we not only had a busy weekend, but a few hiccups in the flow of our comfort and i basically held off on this post until i knew how i wanted to deliver it.  what was prepared was no longer fitting, since waiting through Monday took me to Tuesday where i opened up myself in a way i had not up until then, and the wrath of evil had a field day with it.  so i held off, edited a bit, and i'm here today, ready to attack the question with confidence.  

because, you know, even as a Christian it is ok to have doubts

the question of "How?" is still so deeply ingrained in my thought process that i have become the kind of believer that still researches and questions, often.  some days i feel strong and other days i feel the hot breath of the enemy as he hovers, and waits for me to doubt just enough to fall.....



but not this time, my old friend

/////

so how is this all possible?  really?  

how can we believe that the entire world was created in seven days when science has "proven" it to be billions of years old?  

how can we have faith in a benevolent God now when the oldest writings about Him describe entire cities flattened with rage and fire?  

how can we trust that He wants our best when we suffer from depression, anger, jealousy and fear?

how can we lean on His mercy when a tornado rips a path of destruction through not one but two elementary schools, carrying a couple dozen sweet babes away from their broken parents?



we can believe, have faith and trust in the Lord because He has never changed, not once.  all through the story of Creation is one promise after another, one prophecy coming more true with each time it was spoken of, and one day closer to the final judgment He intended for on day zero.  God does not create bad people, inflict illness or pain, or send storms to cities.  

(don't you dare comment and recite a verse from Job.  just don't..)  

God cries with us, and mourns for us.  God has the wicked one on a short leash, and holds the victory of eternity for us all.. waiting until the time is right.  

/////

in my short time on earth i've experienced virtually nothing compared to many, but in my own heart it was the worst.  we learn from what we take part in, and when a moment lays its very real presence on us, good or bad, it becomes our reality.  my reality, as painful as a few moments were, is full of miracles too.  there are moments i review now and see that i couldn't possibly have made it out by chance.  once, twice maybe.. but not several.  i pretty much walked on glass just to test the thickness of my skin and where i should have been shredded i was left whole.  it took me a long time to accept it, but those moments were not the result of luck.  they were guided, held up and protected by God.  

i can't prove this, but i can't prove the power of, say, the wind, either.  it's invisible, and i only know it's there because of its effect on things we can see.  applying this same logic to faith, well, why can't i justify an invisible God by the way visible things are changed by Him?

if i may dwell on the same analogy, it's clear that the wind effects things the same way.  trees and high grasses bow, waves grow, currents run, and weathervanes change, all in the same direction no matter what kind of structure they are fixed to.  i believe the same goes for the Holy Spirit.  

the Bible is one of the most (if not the most) controversial pieces of literature we have.  stories, parables, songs and biographies grace thousands of pages of a book in which the underlying theme is one of creation, wrath and redemption through grace.  now everyone reads it differently, yes, but the results are always the same.  people find healing, peace, joy, improvement, and compassion.  people learn new ways of living and loving.  people overcome old ways, and create new lives.  the Bible does not tell anyone exactly how to live, but rather gives guidelines of how to honor one another, praise our Creator and manipulate the old pains into something beautiful.  

broad direction, 

different interpretation and yet, 

the results are as uniform as golden grass in an open field, 

beckoning to the strong summer wind.

/////

i found God at the end of a road so broken i was left with no other choice than to step out onto something new.  i have no doubt that i was guided and protected by the Holy Spirit, and i have absolutely no doubt that it was in perfect timing.  

yes, it is hard to hold this faith as i watch others around me suffer.  i wonder, "why am i left to survive and thrive while others never get the chance?"  it is something that humbles me, though, whether i show it or not.  



most convincing for me is that, the means to knowing faith is not described in the Bible, but is simply written as a direct result of having accepted Jesus.  it would be like saying that we could read a book on surviving cancer and own that feeling as if it really happened to us.  we all know this is not true.  we couldn't possibly own a feeling unless the stimulus that causes it was inflicted on us.  it takes cancer to become a survivor.  it takes wind to press trees into submission.  and it takes Jesus to know the heart of God.  

/////

and that is how it is all possible.  we are proud and evil by nature, but we were created to be the exact opposite.  when we fell away from the Lord, He wanted us back.  we seldom recall how good He was to us in the beginning because all we see now is the consequence of our action.  and yes, that was an action by only two people that cursed an entire legacy.  

the "how" is in the faith step we take on the first day we accept Jesus.  

the "how" is in understanding that the world will hate you because it first hated Him.

the "how" is in persevering and protecting the sacred space where the Spirit lives in us.

the "how" is not the result of proof, 

but of the ongoing life experience that can only happen 

when you take your place next to Jesus and let Him carry you from there.

i'd love to hear how you have come to know more.. 
what are your "how" moments?

$100 Target Giftcard in celebration of The Lily Field!

this week i am joining one of my superfaves in a lovely giveaway.  my girl Brittany from The Lily Field is celebrating her first anniversary as a blogtress.  i am so, SO blessed to be a part of this group of women she holds dear, and i consider it an honor to be able to write, witness and encourage other women alongside her. 

Brittany says...  Blogging is so much more than an online journal of daily activities. It is not just a pretty URL with perfectly arranged HTML. But it is an avenue, a portal into the very hearts of humanity. Beautiful, blank, white space begging to be filled with dreams, ideas, reflections, stories... 
 It is about community. It is about reaching out to people you may never have the chance to meet in person. It is about building relationships and sharing your testimony... learning lessons from each other that impact life.  They say it takes a village to raise a child... I think it takes a village to do great things in general. We need each other. 
Blogging has been such a blessed adventure for me. One that I was reluctant to take. Fearing I would fail, I put the idea off for years. But on March 22nd, 2012 I found me some beautiful, blank, white space... and began. 
THANK YOU readers, friends, and family... I wish I could come give each and every one of you a hug. Praying the words and pictures found in the day-to-day posts can at least hug your heart. You are loved. 
________________________________________ 
Celebrating this milestone with me are 6 other wonderful women who have touched my life, encouraged me, and held my hand along the way! Each one is so unique - singing her song from her space on the web. Visit them. Let them bless you as they have blessed me! Together we are giving away a $100 Target gift card to one, lucky reader this week!!! Enter to win below. Open to U.S./Canada residents only. ________________________________________   ::: THE LILY FIELD ::: :::  STANDPIPE & SPRINKLES // NEWFANGLED HOUSEWIFE ::: :::  LILY & LIGHT // THE WILLIAMS POST ::: :::  IMPERFECTLY PERFECT GRACE // BEAUTIFULLY MOLDED :::     a Rafflecopter giveaway 
*** this giveaway is in no part sponsored or endorsed by Target.   all details and opinions are my own. ***

whatcha waitin' for ladies?  get your entries in!! 

siesta scripture memory team// verse 10

now head on over to the Living Proof Blog and check out more amazing scriptures

the affirmation series//why do i need a savior?

last week i poured out my brief thoughts on how the Gospels can be trusted to give us insight into who Jesus is.  

this week i'll be expanding a bit by explaining how i came to understand why He had to come in the first place.  



why we need a savior.  

there is absolutely no question that our world is full of pain, sadness and tragedy.  it seems like each day presents a new top news story that easily competes with the day before.  we find ourselves throwing up our hands in disgust or prayer.  we find ourselves asking "what is the world coming to?"  

truth is, this has been done before.  God watched His creation come to be so evil that He went to great lengths to punish His children in hopes of bringing them back.  but sin after sin led them even further away from Him.  He flooded the earth and attempted a fresh start, but still His children rebelled.  several wars and kings and false gods passed until one night, a baby was born to two terrified teenagers in a barn in Bethlehem.  



this was the beginning of a blessed end.  

we are at the end of the reign of evil and the dawn of the new Heaven He promised.  but in order for us to make it, we need to be redeemed.  in our history we have not exactly proven competent of achieving this status on our own.

as an atheist i was wholly offended at the thought of my very nature being so bad that i was doomed to an eternity of suffering without paying for it.  i could not understand the concept of being born only to die.. unless i chose otherwise.  it's amazing how given the option, i fought it.  more than fighting that Jesus was a real person, i fought that He was God in the flesh.  i fought His claim to divinity.  now, being a Christian i fight to live by that truth instead of the lies we've been fed by the world.

we need a savior because we were created by God, in His image, and we separated ourselves from the goodness He granted us.
we need a savior because we did it to ourselves..

as an atheist I believed I existed by science's standards alone.  
i was enthralled by the evolution stories, completely taken by the progression of details in skeletons as they were laid side by side in "chronological" order, and then used as a timeline to measure humanity's progress.  i was convinced that monkeys were my ancestry, and my existence was the result of happenstance.  but as i searched i seemed to find enough information to not only squash this belief, but adhere to a new one.  

that i was created.  


i read many academic articles that explained what a great stretch it was to fully believe in evolution.  it is still a theory, after all.  though i had unanswered questions about Christianity, i also had many unanswered questions about evolution.  most of them fall inside three main questions, and this is most certainly not an exhaustive list.

why isn't evolution happening now?  

mentally: are we really the most evolved and amazing pieces of creation on the planet?  we eat poison  because it's labeled food and live off of molded plastic objects manufactured by marginalized women and children in foreign countries.  looking back at what the Mayans and Babylonians accomplished, I'd say we have actually de-evolved.

anatomically: if we are supposed to be such great meat-eaters, why haven't we evolved to grow sharper teeth?  and for those people living in intense cold climates, why haven't they evolved to need less gear for survival?

in community:  if we evolved from such community-oriented animals such as primates, why aren't we more community-oriented?  why haven't we found a way to break down picket fences and, at the very least, share a four person table at a restaurant when two people are left to wait while we eat alone?  


why do we all have a deep need to know something, if we haven't evolved to be able to find it?

morals:  we know right from wrong, and yet, there are still tragedies happening between humans everyday.  how is it that if only the strong survive we haven't been able to advance as a peaceful community?  aren't love and compassion and humility all traits that prove to be more beneficial to a pack or herd than say, murder, selfishness and separation?  

identity:  virtually everyone has the ability to work, and earn a wage.  though the freedom to earn a living is unquestionably good, it's common to find more dissatisfied people in the workplace than many other areas.  most times, people are taking stock of their workweek and comparing that to either what they did not make, or what they missed out on in regard to quality time with loved ones.  people know they were meant for more.


these questions may make you laugh (especially if you are an atheist) but i assure you i asked them and actually believed in all of the reasons provided to squash them.  reasons like "evolution happens too slowly for us to see," or "we didn't grow excess body hair because we are meant to be adaptable for the future," and even "selfishness is a characteristic of true strength..."  yadda yadda.  these kept me distracted, but never truly satisfied me.  i was not afraid of the scientific jargon, refused to be spoonfed the theories, and i continued to seek.  though i fell off of the evolution bandwagon, i still wasn't sold on Christianity until a couple years later.  

in that time i attempted to understand how we were created to be perfect but left to be evil at the same time.  and that final collection of questions regarding our need for a savior was connected to one unexplainable activity:

why did the Good News emerge as something people began to believe in rather than the historical accounts of the thousands of other kings that are strewn throughout history?

why was this event, this man's life and death, so shockingly incredible that it became a movement?  He was only a carpenter, and only lived a short time.  He had very little power, and claimed things that eventually had Him killed.  He was beyond average, but completely radical at the same time.  Jesus was someone that should have been labeled a crazy person for years to come.. not exalted as a Savior.  i assumed all along that Jesus' friends were lying to make Him appear greater than He was.

but thanks to historians such as Titus Flavius Josephus, John the Evangelist, Lucian the Greek rhetorician and more, i found accounts of Jesus that were recorded by men who held positions of influence and integrity.  many of these historians were not personally involved with Jesus' group or of Christianity at all, and had no reason to either uphold the claims or cut them down.  what is recorded is pretty much deemed objective across the board and some of our earliest evidence of the post-crucifixion followers' claims.  

so the people that followed Jesus did have reason to lie...  they could have lied and saved their lives.  but instead, they claimed witness to miracles, recited teachings and parables, and not only did they accept their fate, but they made sure to spend their entire lives sharing what they knew.  they died for what they witnessed and believed to be true.  

the real lie is what we are living as we are separated from God, believing that there are no consequences and there is no afterlife.  if we are just a bowl of primordial soup it wouldn't matter what we did right or wrong.  but the accounts that surround Jesus' life the claims of creation only grow stronger and the arguments for evolution seem out of touch.  it's more than just looking at carbon chart and comparing fossils; it's looking inside at the very basic human needs and noting what is missing in the hearts of billions of people.  


what are some of the questions you ask with regard to our need for a Savior?

how have you come to understand our origin by design?

the affirmation series// who is Jesus?

this series will be a bit different than most of mine.  in fact, this is actually more of the believer i am; one that needs to go back and blot out doubt once in a while.  i find myself asking the questions i used to ask as an atheist, and searching for answers like i did when i was a seeker.  when i re-discover a scholarly article or key passage from a book, i find myself realizing all over again where my faith lies and how i came to finally believe in my Savior.

so this series is designed to sort of hold your hand, if you are experiencing any kind of doubting moment, and maybe take you through it.  this will certainly not exhaust each question that exists, but i do hope to at least get you thinking and seeking the way you did when you were a brand new baby Christian.

with that said..  let's discuss the first question:



who is Jesus?

of course i know who He is.. and i'm sure you do, too.. but sometimes i forget exactly who He is in relation to me.  i minimize what He gave up.  i misplace that "first-love" feeling.  i fail to fall on my face in worship, a lot.  

in some ways this is residual doubt; i admit it.  i spent so long looking at Christianity through a teeny lens that it is my natural reaction to question when things do not go the way i think they should.  but i take it as a blessing, because in this mindset i find the energy and drive to seek His face all over again, and fall into great love when i find it.

sometimes, i need more than an eloquent narrative on the life of Jesus but instead, i need to read a good strong argument against Him in order to muster up the voice to say, "No. That is not who my Lord is!"  

sometimes i need to remember that Jesus was an infant.  and before He was an infant, He was a ball of genetic code; the same genetic "soup" that scientists have used to argue against creation.  

sometimes i need to recall how Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, but He grew through the process of human gestation.  He was all God, and all man.

every time, i need to refer to the Gospels, as they are my sole means of understanding the events of His life.



but how do i trust the Gospel accounts?   

as an atheist i believed Jesus lived, (strange right?) but i didn't believe He was God in the flesh.  i believed the people in the Bible lived, i just didn't believe one of them was God.  i asked, "how could a woman deliver a man that would be chosen by God to be the Savior?" i was viewing the action as sort of an afterthought.  i understand now that He was prepared and planned for, and He existed outside of time.  but before that, i needed to understand how He came to be.  so i had to read the Gospels. 

i also read books and articles that presented research surrounding the validity of the New Testament when scrutinized as any other historical document.  many skeptics view the Bible as simple mysticism between two hard covers, but history is threaded through the text.  so when you remove a portion of the text, the same research that sheds light on the life of an ancient king or the traditions of a city can hold valuable details lifting up the validity of the Gospels.  

one of my "aha!" moments happened when i realized that as i sifted through research on the Gospels' validity, i never read that the authors were questioned but only what they wrote about Christ.  Matthew, formerly Levi the tax collector; Mark, an evangelist; Luke, a historian and physician; and John, an evangelist who writes his book as an eyewitness account are all attributed to these books, and their existence and credentials are spoken of with confidence.  many scholars have used investigative techniques, archaeological processes and legalistic fact-checking methods to cross-reference the Gospels and give a sound conclusion to their validity.  more times than not, these books hold up to such tests.  

not to mention with any less importance, but ancient methods of writing and documenting were hardly carried out frivolously.  stories were captured and cataloged in order to teach the later generations.  details were important, no matter how silly they may have seemed at the time.  every bit of writing the author penned was for a purpose.  today we write in so much narrative that we think that's the way it has always been.  but the Gospels are full of rich detail that we would miss without proper examination.  

(more detail i may explore in a later series!)

so when one simply reads that "Jesus was the Word, and the Word was with God," it may be hard to accept.  but when these words are explained as being written by a man who claims to have been in proximity with Jesus and witnessing the details he would later pen, and this book has been researched the same way any non-religious text would, and it passed the tests of validity.. it changes things.  

one of my most favorite prophecies-come-true, and one i like to refer to when i begin to question who my Lord is, is found in Luke 4:14-21.  here, Jesus enters the temple, opens the scroll of the prophet Isaiah to the section now labeled " Isaiah 61," and reads the first two verses aloud, proclaiming that this prophecy has been fulfilled in their hearing; that He is the one Isaiah said would come to heal the world.  

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

    because he has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

    and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

some were excited to hear this, the Pharisees were appalled, and Jesus goes on to continue His work until God would call Him up.  Luke being a highly regarded physician and historian writes this portion of Scripture and gives us a clear picture of what that day looked like.  

i read this and i am filled with hope again.  i know that my God loves me so much that He sent someone to bring me home.  i feel redeemed all over again.  i begin to remember my worth.  when i forget who my Jesus is, i go back to the words that were prophesied about the Messiah, and fall in love all over again with the Man that stood up and accepted what was planned for Him.

being an atheist, i'd have read this as just one of Jesus' friends trying to make Him look good.  being a Christian who has done her research, i read it as an accurate account written by a man who maintained his integrity as a gifted historian (as noted by several scholars and archaeologists upon historical confirmation of many of his claims) and did his duty of reporting on the events for historical purposes, and to teach people in the future.


because i asked so many questions about Jesus' life, i began to read a lot about those authors who wrote about it.  given so much background on these men, i found a deeper faith in what they wrote.  given that they wrote quite a bit about Jesus, i found a deeper faith in who He is.

what are your thoughts on Jesus and those who wrote about Him?  

what other questions do you have in regard to 

how we have come to know about Him?

Open Floor// a place to ask the tough questions

this month i have answered God's call to open the floor and discuss some tough topics.  

as you may or may not know, i was an atheist before i accepted Jesus as my Savior.  i was a mean atheist, too; relentlessly stirring up difficult questions to deliver in a condescending manner, only to end the train wreck conversation with an ignorant remark.  it got me nowhere, offended my friends and family, and left me even further from the truth i was seeking.  

now i'm eager to use that part of my life for the good of God's Kingdom and be on the receiving end of those questions.  i feel He has given me the call to do this because it is necessary for many to ask these questions, but not everyone is ready to help these people find the answers.  it is difficult for some, painful for others, and challenging all around.. especially when you are met with an antagonistic communicator.  

this series will begin on Monday May 6th through the Fancy Little Things "Gal Groups," and will be hosted through a secret Facebook group.  we will discuss for one month to start, and longer if anyone needs.  we will engage in deep discussions and do so with the respect everyone desires and deserves.  together, we'll get through some tough questions.

whether you are an athiest, seeker, or believer having a doubtful moment, there is a spot waiting for you in this group.  

please email me at kristincho3@gmail.com with any questions or if you'd like to join :)

new series// who? why? how? now!

this series is the result of having faith long enough to come back around to the questioning.  

yes, questioning.

even as a believer, i still have moments where i look up to the sky, out of the corner of my eye, and wonder who is looking down on me.  i ask tough questions.  i pray in laments.  i lose momentum with bible study.  it happens here and there, and the process of circling back to a strong theological connection always fuels me to press on. 

this is by no means an expert study, but rather, a support of sorts for those of us (and hopefully there are many) who spend quiet moments asking God if He is still there.  it is our nature as a human to doubt and fear and worry, and it is His nature as God to fill those places with His light, mercy and grace. 

i hope you will join me this month as we ask a few tough questions and use them as stepping stones to return to Him after our small bouts of wandering.

meet you back here on Monday :)